I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
