i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
