Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
