i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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