Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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