Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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