im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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