this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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