i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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