Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
