That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
