I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
