I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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