let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
