I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
