apparently the secret to your success is patron
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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