you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
