well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
