i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Randomize
