how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
