Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Actions speak louder than pants.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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