Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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