fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
