Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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