Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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