How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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