just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
