Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
