I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
