you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
