There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
