"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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