She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the day after is always just damage control
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
