pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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