you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sext me about skeletons
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
