Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
