How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
