I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
