he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
