her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
