i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
