Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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