Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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