so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
