She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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