U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
