Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
