1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I CAN MOONWALK!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
