i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
