i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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