3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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