we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
